An Excellent Househusband and Father

Two weeks ago ERA Banda asked me to attend a Memorial in celebrating the life of Paul Hehir (1966 - 2006) who died in an motor cycle accident in Jakarta. Paul Hehir was Bernadette' husband and father of Thomas and Emma. For me, a moslem, it was the first time I attended a memorial. In our traditions and customs, people come and do the prayer for the late. Although we usually talked and shared information and stories about the late, there was no formal or planned occasion purposely to share good memories about the late. Although I never met or even knew Paul Hehir, from the memorial I got a wonderful picture of him. There were so many people came and shared stories about him. Thomas and Emma described how wonderful their father was. A loving father who always there everytime they need, who thaught them not to worry about how their look but more concern about their attitude and works. Dino, his friend, shared stories about how Paul loved his family and put his children in the first place in his life. One female from the neighborhood shared another Paul goodness. Apparently Paul was a concern and thoughtful person. Although he didn't know them, he assisted people from Kampung Kid in providing food to support malnourish students. Even more, within only 2 weeks, Paul found at least 5 donors who willing to support Yayasan Kampung Kid. I didn't have a chance to dig more information about Paul Hehir. If I am not mistake, he is a houseman. His wife works in Australian Embassy. But, although maybe he did not work at any office or for anyone, he done so many wonderful things for people around him. He supported his children school by helped them in creating and publishing a book "Letters for Aceh". He socialize with people from the neighborhood and voluntary helped them finding donors to support their works for poor and malnourish children. In my country, Indonesia, people tend to view a housewife as no one. That is why if you ask a woman who do not work in the office or decide to stay at the house and committed to raise and take care her children at home, she will say that "I am just a housewife". Women who are housewives do not have a pride. It seem that she done nothing compare to the professional or career women. If a housewife does not have a pride, can you imagine how people view a househuband ? My experience attending memorial for celebrating the life of Paul Hehir, changed my view on a housewife or a househusband (I really dont know whether this term is right). Paul Hehir committed to support his wife. Bernadette could not performed her best performance without her husband' support. Paul took care some of domestic works which could not done by her. Helped, took care and accompanied the children while she was away. Moreover Paul done so many wonderful things for people around him and the neighborhood. Dino said "The strongest diplomacy or communication between people is communication from the heart. And Paul has proven that he was an excellent diplomat". Thomas quote his father words "Remember, you are a person. You are who you are. Ignore wthat other people talk about you". Some lessons learnts I gained from the memorial. Everyone can do anything to contribute in changing the world. You don't have to become a president, governor or senator to contribute in making changes in the world. Do what you can do to help people and the neighborhood. A simple and small help from you can be a huge support for others. A meaningful support that can make significant changes in the community. Paul Hehir has proven that. He built his children' character. Contributed to people in the neighborhood and his children school. He become inspiration not only for his children but also for many people interacted with him. He changed people with his own style and approach. He taught people how to love, respect and appreciate a mother. God Bless You, Paul ! Although there is unsual for Moslem family to conduct a memorial, I shared my experience with my sons and agreed that it is great if we could celebrating someone life. Everyone must have a wonderful stories of life. And it is important to share his/her stories to his/her family, friends and relatives; so they can learn something from the one who left us. Something wonderful to keep in our mind. Something to be delivered to the children and young.